Springfield 2424?

An article in today's New York Times posed the question, "Which U.S. City Most Deserves the Olympics?", which several staff writers and editors took a stab at answering.  Following is Metro Desk editor Victor Mather's choice of -- where else, but -- Springfield:


People from every country on earth go to the Olympics, and to get them to come to America we need to hold the Games at a city they all look to.

That city is Springfield.

The infrastructure is virtually all in place. Clean, efficient energy will be supplied by the Nuclear Power Plant. Public transportation could be provided by the monorail, assuming they get the bugs out. Drug testing could be handled by the nearly competent Dr. Nick Riviera. And it could all be catered by Krusty Burger.

Admittedly, the facilities for an international multisport event are lacking. The baseball stadium of the minor league Springfield Isotopes could be used for the opening ceremony. And the International Olympic Committee may want to think about adding dog racing, bowling and miniature golf to the Games.

But more stadiums could be built with the money of the town billionaire C. Montgomery Burns, assuming he is in the midst of one of his periodic efforts to improve his image.

We can see it now: the action star Rainier Wolfcastle hands the torch to the heavyweight champion Drederick Tatum, who signals the start of the Games by igniting the mountain of tires at the Springfield Tire Yard.

What could be more American?